Would this induce you to buy the book, or even to become one of those raving rabid loyal fans social media gurus twitter on about?
The book, which tells of my true and terrifying encounters with a serial killing butler, is available now on Amazon.co.uk.
and in all good UK bookshops.
It is also available on Amazon.com.
And the good news is that as I write this, at 3am on the morning of 12 April, California time, the book has leapt into the Number One spot in the Hot New Releases (serial killers) charts.
Is the butler slaying the opposition? Here's the link . You can pre-order and find out how to lay a table and/or your aristocratic employer.